


The One

by So_Uncreative



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Coming Out, Coming of Age, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Little Dialogue, Love, Might contain some questionable Italian from Google Translate, a past fic yet also a future fic, text heavy fic, unrequited crushes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29568861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_Uncreative/pseuds/So_Uncreative
Summary: "How did you know that she was the one?"
Relationships: Andrew Deluca & Carina Deluca, Carina DeLuca/Arizona Robbins, Carina DeLuca/Original Female Characters, Carina DeLuca/Original Male Characters, Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	The One

**Author's Note:**

> I have been wanting to do a character study on Carina for so long and I'm so excited to have finally written it and to be posting it. This fic is heavily inspired by one that my good friend @pb-NJ wrote called d "The Last" that centers around Nico Kim and honestly ye should go read it like right now! It's one of my all-time favorite fics!
> 
> Trigger Warnings: This fic will touch a bit on homophobia. If that is not something that you feel comfortable reading then I would recommend maybe leaving this fic or just glossing over the paragraphs that mention the character of Gia (Paragraphs 6-10) 
> 
> Also, I wrote far too many parties into this but I've been in level five lockdown for so long that I genuinely can't remember any other way of meeting people that's not through dating apps so I just gave Carina a fantastic social life...enjoy...

The first time Carina thought that she could end up loving a woman, she was sixteen years old, tipsy, and was looking over the shoulder of the boy who was hugging her tightly. 

Living with an erratic and busy surgeon as a father came with one perk; freedom, her father didn’t care whether or not she went to parties or drank, hell most of the time he barely cared if she came home at all. That’s not the story that Carina is focusing on telling at this particular moment though, she’d dealt with the issue her father had caused her many years ago, it’s just that the freedom her father unknowingly gave her is what led to her meeting this girl. This party was at one of her classmates' houses during a weekend when his parents were away and with the week that Carina had been enduring at home, she felt like a party was exactly what she needed. She had always thrived in social situations and this was no different, she’d spent the party dancing with her friends, drinking cheap beers that kept appearing in her hand, and flashing her smile at a certain boy with whom she’d spent the last month flirting with in school. Carina had been planning on kissing him that night but then he introduced Carina to his twin sister before hugging her in greeting and that was as far as they ever went. 

With his arms wrapped around her waist as they gently swayed to the slow song her friend had put on over the speakers in the hope of creating a romantic atmosphere for the pair, all Carina could focus on was the black-haired girl who looked like she’d rather be anywhere else in the world. Once the slow song ended, Carina broke away from the boy and focused on getting to know the girl, Aulina, that she was being drawn to like a magnetic force. 

They had to shout over the loud thumping music that had replaced the gentle melodies Carina had danced to while they sat on the stairs drinking more cheap beer. Aulina warmed up to her and they ended up outside together sitting under a tree in the garden going unnoticed by the other tipsy partygoers who’d come out to make out or smoke. They talked about music, TV shows, and school, and then they started talking about dreams, anxieties, and sharing secrets, it felt like one of those conversations that would last forever, and Carina found herself thinking more and more about how gorgeous Aulina looked in the moonlight. They kissed, Carina couldn’t remember which one of them had instigated it, but she remembered how soft Aulina’s lips felt and how strong her cherry lip-gloss tasted when mixed with the alcohol on her breath. 

Carina had kissed boys before and she was confident when she did it, she knew where to put her hands and when to break apart but with Aulina she felt like she was having her very first kiss again, when they broke apart, they just stared at one another for an awkward moment before Aulina rushed off leaving Carina sitting under the tree alone and thinking about what had just happened. The next afternoon, Carina was woken up by her phone ringing and when she answered she wasn’t surprised to hear Aulina ramble and try and explain that the kiss meant nothing because she was straight. Aulina began to apologize but Carina told her there was nothing to worry about and they hung up as there was nothing left to say. Aulina may have not been ready to address her own curiosities about women just yet, but Carina was, Aulina had awoken something in her.

Although her newfound attraction to women wasn’t something, she was necessarily ashamed of, Carina didn’t tell anyone else about it for another six months.

A classmate of hers Gia had come out as gay and was suffering under the scrutiny of closed-minded people who used religion as an excuse for their homophobic abuse. When Carina found the girl crying in the bathroom after school one day as she tried to pick the food that had been thrown at her from her hair, she just pulled her into a hug and tried to assure her that everything would be okay. Gia had cried till there was a wet patch forming on Carina’s school cardigan before pulling back and sharing at Carina in shock, apparently, Carina had been the last person Gia had ever expected to comfort her. While Carina was never one to hiss insults at the girl in the hall or make jokes regarding her sexuality, she was friends with those who did and had never tried to stick up for Gia or shown any remorse for the actions of those that she called her friends.

Carina hadn't tried to defend herself when Gia told her this, guilt over her cowardice had been plaguing her for weeks before finding the girl that particular afternoon so instead, she apologized. The sincerity of the apology and the genuine understanding that Carina seemed to process for Gia's plight is what prompted her to ask Carina whether or not she too was gay. Carina had looked like a deer caught in headlights as she shook her head, explain that while she wasn't gay, she wasn't exactly straight either. Carina didn't know what the term to describe her sexuality at the time, that would be something that she'd learn a few years later but she was shocked that Gia seemed to understand the explanation. Gia listened intently as Carina rambled about her attraction to both guys and girls and about her kiss with Aulina, something which she'd a secret since it happened and Carina returned the favor as Gia talked about her girlfriend, something she'd never really had the opportunity to do. The two of them exited the bathroom as friends that day and the next time someone so much as looked at Gia the wrong way, Carina tore them to shreds. She knew she'd done wrong by Gia in the past but it didn't mean that she couldn't change her ways.

As soon as Carina began sticking up for the girl that she grew closer and closer to as each day passed, she too began to face the wrath of small-minded homophobes. She and Gia rolled their eyes at every comment and every slur that was thrown at them and both of them found comfort in the other's company, knowing that they'd never be judged. They bonded over more than just their attraction to girls though, they bonded over movies, bands, and their love of science. Soon, Carina began to refer to Gia as her best friend after realizing the people she used to call friends were anything but that. If they had actually been people that she trusted, she wouldn't have hidden her kiss with Aulina or her growing crush on Gia from them, she wouldn't have been afraid to tell them any of it.

Hiding her crush from Gia was tortuous, they told each other everything but Carina knew it was for the best. She didn't want her father would refer to as “pesky feelings” to ruin their friendship, not when Gia was the only one that Carina felt she could truly confide in, so she buried them deep down. After a few weeks of friendship, Carina was introduced to Gia's girlfriend Sienna at a random party that Gia dragged her to on a random Friday night. She could clearly see how suited the two girls were and realized that she didn't want anything to cause ripples in their relationship so she continued being a friend to Gia and grew closer to Sienna in the process. They became an unstoppable trio and with the two girls trying to set Carina up with the many friends that they had, Carina found herself quickly forgetting her feelings for Gia and instead falling for Sienna's best friend Matteo. 

He was kind of the perfect guy in Carina's eyes, charming, smart, and sweet, and their relationship was one of the first proper ones that Carina. She had thought it was love and when she told her father, Carina had paid little attention to his warnings that seventeen years old truly knew nothing of love. When she confided in her mother about Matteo, she had been excited for Carina and asked about a million different questions which Carina had been happy to answer but found herself wondering if her mother would have the same reaction if Carina had been dating a girl. The number of people who knew about her attraction to the same sex was limited to Gia, Sienna, Matteo, and a few of the other people that her friends had tried to set her up but Carina still didn't know what to label herself as.

By the time she was 19, Carina still hadn't found the word to label herself and she didn't really care. After a year of dating, she and Matteo broke up shortly after his eighteenth birthday, once he'd told her that he was going to go traveling for a year and didn't want to be tied down in a long-distance relationship. It had been a rough break-up but once she had spent a few weeks crying on Gia and Sienna's couch and eating her body weight in ice-cream, Carina threw herself back into dating. She had brief flings with men and women and casual hookups that didn't go beyond one night of mutual pleasure. She was comfortable flirting with anyone and everyone that she was interested in and didn't hesitate to make a move, something her brother Andrew had wished he'd known before she came to visit him and his mother in America.

Andrew had been looking forward to his sister's visit for months, it had been years since he'd seen her in person, and although they had frequent conversations, nothing could beat seeing her in person. He was equally excited about introducing Carina to his girlfriend Avery, the girl he'd told his sister so much about, and so the night she landed in America, Andrew dragged her to a party that Avery was throwing. Carina had tried to protest, claiming to be too tired from her trip but when she walked was greeted by the sight of Avery's older sister answering the door. Andrew quickly introduced Carina to Leanne before dragging her off to find Avery, as she was dragged through the crowd of Andrew's friends Carina threw Leanne a glance over the shoulder and smirked when she saw the other girl staring after her. After a while of making polite conversation with Avery and Andrew, Carina excused herself to the bathroom and was delighted to find Leanne waiting outside it for her to be finished.

They stood at the top of the stairs and even though she was exhausted, Carina couldn't help but feel energized by Leanne's obvious flirting. They talked about nothing of importance and it was in no way surprising when Leanne leaned in and kissed Carina. What was surprising to both of them was the fire that Carina kissed her back with and as they stumbled into Leanne's bedroom, it was clear that they were going to do more than just make out. While Carina and Leanne began to undress, Avery and Andrew had grown concerned about their sisters' whereabouts and ventured upstairs, both instantly regretting it when they opened the door to reveal their sisters in a rather comprising position. Andrew shut the door as quickly as he had opened it and avoided eye contact with Carina for a few days following the incident until their mother left them alone in the house and she cornered him. 

Their conversation hadn't been as awkward as Andrew had expected. Knowing Carina, he'd been expecting her to rant and rave about how he shouldn't be making her feel ashamed for having sex and how his American education should mean that he was progressive but she'd surprised him with one simple question. All she wanted to know was whether or not he was being weird about it because he had walked in on her and a woman or because he had walked in on her and one of his friends. Andrew immediately reassured her that it was the latter, not wanting his sister to think for a second that he was anything but supportive. Carina found herself giving the same explanation about not being gay but not being entirely straight that she'd given Gia in the bathroom all those years ago when Andrew asked and he surprised her by nodding understandingly and asking: so, you're bi?

Bi.

Carina repeated the word back to him and then to herself again, quietly, before smiling and confirming to her brother that she was in fact bisexual. It was the first time that Carina had ever heard a word that defined her sexuality and it took every ounce of her willpower not to yell the word at the top of her lungs. She hadn't necessarily been at her wit's end searching for a label for herself but now that she had one, she felt as though she knew exactly who she was. Carina told her mother that same evening over dinner and was surprised when her mother pulled her into a tight hug and unsurprised when her mother began interrogating her. Viola DeLuca wanted to know when her daughter had realized she was attracted to her girls, had she told her father, did she have a girlfriend, and most importantly, did she know how to practice safe sex with a partner of the same gender. Carina answered each question with an ease that only she seemed to process as Andrew sat at the other side of the table, dying of embarrassment as his sister and mother discussed safe sex practices.

Carina told her father upon her arrival back to Italy, Vincenzo DeLuca hadn't fully understood what his daughter was telling him as he drove her home from the airport but he didn't let her know that. Instead, he waited until he was sure she was tucked up in bed and began to research so that when it came up again, he would know the right thing to say and do. Once she'd told her father, she told Gia and Sienna who hugged her tightly and told her how proud they were of her and a few weeks later, they had the same reaction when she told them that she'd been accepted to UCL Medical School in London.

Ever since she was a young girl, Carina had dreamed of two things: attending a medical school like both of her parents and living in London. The incredibleness of the fact that at the age of 19 that she was living both of these dreams at the same time was not lost on Carina as she spent the first week before her classes started, sightseeing. By the time her classes began, she'd already befriended her Spanish roommate Paula, sent various postcards to her family and friends, and found a coffee shop within perfect walking distance of her dorm and of her college. For her first two years of medical school was spent with her nose in a book on the weekdays and her feet on a dancefloor of whatever club Paula wanted to go to on the weekends. There was little opportunity for anything other than quick flings and hookups and Carina was fine with that until she met him.

Noah started working as a barista in her favorite coffee shop and while Paula teased her for it being cliché, Carina couldn't help but fall for him. They got to know one another through the conversations they'd have as he prepared her coffee each morning and by the end of her final term of the second year, flirting had become the norm for them. Carina was quick to let him know that she was actually staying in London for the summer and Noah was even quicker to ask her out after she revealed this information. He claimed that he loved her from the first moment he'd spotted her in the café and although Carina knew that it couldn't possibly be true, for she had actually been grabbing coffee after a rather long night out the first time they met, she chose to believe him. 

If she was being honest, Carina thought that she and Noah would be a quick summer fling, something to keep her busy until her friends returned to the city and her classes began in the autumn but she found herself freaking out the night before her graduation two years later about introducing Noah to her parents. Both of them had decided to fly to London to celebrate her achievement and while she was touched by the effort both of them were making, she was also terrified that they would fight and ruin her entire day. Noah's parents were still together so he didn't quite understand his girlfriend's fear as she paced their apartment, giving out in Italian about what could go wrong. Noah had always found her extremely sexy whenever she spoke Italian and found himself kissing her gently in order to calm her down and like always it worked.

Noah knew exactly what Carina needed when she was angry or when she was sad. He knew her order in every restaurant in London, her favorite book, and her preferred brand of shampoo. Noah knew everything about her and it worked both ways. Carina knew exactly how many children he wanted, what the name of his first pet was and his least favorite drink to make at the coffee shop that he now managed. They had been together for two years and knew everything about one another. Paula said it was sweet, Carina said it was boring. She hated that she was bored of Noah but Carina was spontaneous and fun, boring was the last thing that she wanted. Her parents had both liked him when they met him at her graduation party and both were confused days later when she announced she was moving back home to Italy without the man they'd been certain she'd marry. Carina had broken up with him in the kindest way possible but heartbreak was never easy nor it was ever fun. What was more shocking than the fact she actually broke up with Noah was the fact that unlike her break up with Matteo, she didn't need to cry or eat ice-cream with Gia and Sienna. She was instead, able to jump straight into her internship and helping them plan their wedding without even a tinge of sadness about the man she'd just left. A fact that let her know she'd made the right choice when she'd told him that he wasn't the one.

After Noah, Carina reverted to a series of flings and hook-ups, focusing more on work and taking care of her father than on her love life. She didn't care to try and make anything last long term knowing that her schedule would ultimately be the downfall of any relationship that she might find herself in, that was until at least she met Arizona Robbins. Coming to Seattle to do research had been a decision Carina made on a whim, she'd just wanted to spend some quality with her brother after all these years but wished that they had had more of a normal reunion. When she met Arizona at the bar, the last thing she'd expected was for her to be Andrew's roommate and for him to walk in on them but she also couldn't really bring herself to care. She liked Arizona and Arizona liked her, why wouldn't she pursue it?

Dating Arizona had been exciting. Not just because it was the first real relationship that Carina had experienced since Noah but because the woman herself was so interesting. Arizona had survived everything from a shooting to a plane crash and yet she still greeted each new day with a wide smile. Carina was sure that if she'd gone through even half of what Arizona had, she'd probably never leave the safety of her own bed. She was in awe of the woman's strength, intelligence, and optimistic outlook on life, Carina got tingles every time Arizona referred to her as her girlfriend because she was completely and utterly in love with Arizona.

Sadly for Carina, Arizona was completely and utterly in love with Callie Torres. 

Carina had masked her heartache over Arizona leaving her with a smile, knowing that curling up and crying wasn't an option when Andrew was spiraling after Sam's deportation and with her work piling up. She didn't cry into a couch cushion or even purchased a pint of Ben & Jerry's to make herself feel better, no instead she got up, got dressed and she went to Jo and Alex's wedding. The details of the day were fuzzy due to the fact she had begun drinking pretty early but she did remember trying to flirt with Owen Hunt, in the hopes that she could sleep with him to forget her heartbreak just like the last time she and Arizona had called things off. The memory of that flirting now made her shudder along with the memories of making out with Taryn Helm once Amelia had bundled them into a taxi together from Jackson's place back to their own respective homes. The heartache Arizona had caused her and led to her being a bit of a mess and while she was embarrassed about those actions now, at the time they had helped to ease the pain.

“But what does any of this have to do with my question Nonna?” Zoey Bishop asked, crossing her arms across her chest as if she was a sulky teenager and not a woman of twenty-five. Carina pursed her lips as she looked up from the simple bands that sat proudly on the ring finger of her left hand, knowing she could not scold her granddaughter “I just want to know how you knew Grandma was the one?”

“You’re so impatient you get that from your father” Carina replied, glancing to where Maya stood with their son and daughters to ensure none of them had heard her refer to him as impatient. Zoey only chuckled gently from her seat beside Carina on the couch. She’d expected a simple answer to what she'd asked, something simple to summarise the last fifty years she’d spent with her wife but she should've known CArina would include a long story like she always did. “All these people that I loved and people like Gia, Owen, and Taryn led me to your grandmother. Each of them teaching me lessons on the way”

Carina smiled as she watched her granddaughter contemplate her words, unaware of just how much they rang true. By the time she met Maya in Joe's bar the night after the bear attack, Carina had done the work to get to know herself and learn what she wanted. She knew that she wanted someone who was secure in themselves unlike Aulina had been and she wanted someone she could trust as much as she trusted Gia. Carina knew she wanted someone that Andrew would approve of like Leanne or Arizona but also someone who was would keep things exciting and fun, unlike Noah. By the time she met Maya, Carina knew exactly what kind of person she was looking for and was pleasantly surprised that she found that person in Maya.

Maya was one of the most confident people that Carina had ever met, even in the moments where she was scared like during the birth of Prue Miller or moments before she proposed to Carina, Maya was secure in herself. Their trust may have been broken when Maya had slept with Jack but the two of them had worked to repair it and throughout their relationship, their careers, and their journey through parenting, they were always one another's confidant. Yet even though they told one another everything, their relationship never grew boring. Even after fifty years of marriage, Carina had still been able to surprise Maya with an anniversary breakfast in bed and to this day, they still learned new things about one another. Carina had found the love that she didn't know what entirely possible when she met Maya and knowing that Andrew loved Maya like a sister after just mere weeks of knowing her, had been the final confirmation that Carina had needed to know that Maya was the one for her.

Maya was the one for Carina and it was something Carina would never let anyone forget.


End file.
